Essence Properties 7 – Bladezillas 6        

In what local sports reporters are already calling “The Start of the Middle of the End,” the April 23rd game between struggling beer-league franchises The Bladezillas and The Essence Properties marked a turning point for both franchises; The Essence attempting to rebound from a 14-3 loss and hold off repaying a debt to the Dark One which would forfeit that small final part of their soul that clutches at humanity, The Bladezillas trying to adjust to the controversial resigning of one-time fan favorite and current dinosaur porn addict Dewey Van Hussen, whom many believe to be past his prime and slowed by several debilitating head injuries.

“Klaatu barada nikto!” -Essence Goalie Joe Sharpe

The evening started out as so many before it; the BeeZee assembled early, resplendent in matching uniforms and shared ideals, their heads held high in proud determination. Their opponents, robed in the grey and black their souls secrete, held communion pre-game with the Fiend behind doors closed to reporters and light itself.  As the game began the Bz jumped out to an early lead with Jason “The Dawn Skate” Martin sliding the first goal past the soulless eyes of the opposing goalie, quickly followed by 2 quick goals by rescue dog care home operator Duncan “The British Columbian Bulldog” Brown. Several points were quickly tallied by volunteer mid-wife Jamie “Push!” Wright. It seemed as if the battle was in hand, another one tallied for the good guys.

It was then that a soft chanting began to emanate from the stands above the Essence, their familiars joined hand and tail in tormented plea. The rink quieted, and became dark as if in sudden shadow, and the Essence came back with inhuman relentlessness.

“I’m a dinosaur! Rawr!” -Dewey Booth

The Bladezillas were as nothing before this Dark Essence; despite being individually numbered it was as if 5 simulacra, alike in horror and bottom-division skill, attacked in waves. Shon “The Sho” Samujh, deliberate in his defense, could not stop the endless grey waves. Young lad and team mascot Spencer “Spency” Underhill died in the crease stopping what could have been a 6th straight goal, his life ended too soon. Hope despaired as the Essence tied the game at 6, forcing overtime.

“I screamed for friendship, and for heartache. I screamed at the injustice of a world gone mad. Most of all I screamed for a forgetfulness I knew would never come.” -Jason Collinge

As overtime began, Spring Captain and Team Voice Jason “Words!” Martin took to the ice, intent on ending the game as he started it: with a goal for #16 and the Bladezillas. Losing the puck back to the blue-line, Jason held the zone, looking for an outlet pass to an open winger. “I had the puck, my head up, and I visualized the entire play, the goal, the celebration in the locker room with our as-yet-unannounced victory song. I could see the Essence evaporating, sinking down into whatever level of Hell they have so eagerly earned. And, then, it happened.” 3 Essence players, 7 feet tall and with 2 sticks each, hacking and tripping their way past the stalwart Bz players, converged on Martin. Despite a vigorous fight and spirited back-check he was unable to stop the partial break which saw the puck flipped past a heroic “Angry” Fraser to clinch the Essence upset.

“We have lost compassion and amity; lenity will forever be out of reach, but in goals we have gained. We tread knee-deep in victory under His dark banner” – Essence winger Jag Gill, probably.

The Bladezillas play Sunday next. Try-outs for a new “Spency” will be held, details to be announced.