16 Bz Were Asked to Choose Their Goal Music…

Welcome to the most click-baity article in the history of this blog! I suppose we could have added “You Won’t Believe What They Chose!” but, hey, you have to leave a little something for next time, right? And, yes, despite the regularity of posts recently there will be a next time. Asshole. Recently we spoke…

Justin Doyle Announced as New Head Coach of the Bladezillas

The Bladezillas have ended weeks of speculation Tuesday night, naming long time player Justin Doyle as the new Head Coach for the 2017 Spring League. The blog and stat focused reader will waste no time pointing out that during his career Doyle played 270 games over 8 seasons with the Bladezillas, but they would have no idea…

Refs Shine in 5-4 Win Over Bz

Despite 2 goals by returning winger Dan “A Koala Stole My Dangle” Hewson, the Bladezillas were defeated 5-4 in a closely contested battle against the Refs tonight, losing short handed in extra time. We caught up with BeeZee Defenseman Sean “Even I Spell My Last Name Wrong Sometimes” Roozku after his team’s OT loss to ask…

Hotshots Defeated At 2nd Battle Of Rink 4

Report from Mr. Zilla with the Bladezilla HC, March 4, 10:00 P. M. — The HotShots launched their expected offensive this evening on a front extending from center ice, in Rink 4, north-ward beyond the blue-line. Hotshots Take Early Advantages in First Offensive The Hotshots’ co-ordinated attacks momentarily overwhelmed defending Bz forces, scoring four direct hits in the First. After…

Bz Look To Add Veteran At Deadline

As the bottom division of Burnaby’s beer-league races towards the playoffs, un-diagnosed alcoholism, the Bladezillas are better poised than ever to pull the trigger on a deal for a solid, proven veteran to ensure they are successful in their league-mandated, 2 game minimum post-season. The day Steve “King Corsi” Halverson was hired to coach the…

Predators Defeat Bz 3-2 in Election Night Upset

In one of the most shocking Bottom Tier games in modern 8-Rinks history, The Predators have defeated The Bladezillas 3-2 to become the second-worst team in the ASHL. “I pledge to every player in our division that we will be leaders for all teams,” Predator forward and Div E2D Overachiever Brad “The Next-Next-Next One” Flitton…

Bladezillas 6 – Hustle Gang 1

For those feeling nostalgic Burnaby Love (Feat. Dr. J) Bladezillas… knows how to hockey Bladezillas… knows how to hockey… Now let me welcome everybody to the very bottom Div A Tier that thinks a composite is used like a shiv The slashes hits ya forearm like they’re Havoc possessed With Antonali on your defense the penalty box is blessed! We on that poor wet…

Pre-Game Predictions: Hustlin’ All Day Ereday

Pregame Predictions: The Bladezillas vs. The Hustle Gang 1. The Bz are unable to take the 15 skinny, socially awkward computer programmers suiting up for the Hustle Gang seriously. Except the one guy dressed like this: 2. He will get Rob ejected (but stay in the game himself) in the 2nd period, earn “Mad Props”…