Justin Doyle Announced as New Head Coach of the Bladezillas

The Bladezillas have ended weeks of speculation Tuesday night, naming long time player Justin Doyle as the new Head Coach for the 2017 Spring League. The blog and stat focused reader will waste no time pointing out that during his career Doyle played 270 games over 8 seasons with the Bladezillas, but they would have no idea…

Hotshots Defeated At 2nd Battle Of Rink 4

Report from Mr. Zilla with the Bladezilla HC, March 4, 10:00 P. M. — The HotShots launched their expected offensive this evening on a front extending from center ice, in Rink 4, north-ward beyond the blue-line. Hotshots Take Early Advantages in First Offensive The Hotshots’ co-ordinated attacks momentarily overwhelmed defending Bz forces, scoring four direct hits in the First. After…

Predators Defeat Bz 3-2 in Election Night Upset

In one of the most shocking Bottom Tier games in modern 8-Rinks history, The Predators have defeated The Bladezillas 3-2 to become the second-worst team in the ASHL. “I pledge to every player in our division that we will be leaders for all teams,” Predator forward and Div E2D Overachiever Brad “The Next-Next-Next One” Flitton…

Bladezillas 6 – Hustle Gang 1

For those feeling nostalgic Burnaby Love (Feat. Dr. J) Bladezillas… knows how to hockey Bladezillas… knows how to hockey… Now let me welcome everybody to the very bottom Div A Tier that thinks a composite is used like a shiv The slashes hits ya forearm like they’re Havoc possessed With Antonali on your defense the penalty box is blessed! We on that poor wet…

Pre-Game Predictions: Hustlin’ All Day Ereday

Pregame Predictions: The Bladezillas vs. The Hustle Gang 1. The Bz are unable to take the 15 skinny, socially awkward computer programmers suiting up for the Hustle Gang seriously. Except the one guy dressed like this: 2. He will get Rob ejected (but stay in the game himself) in the 2nd period, earn “Mad Props”…

The Good, The Bad, The Usual.

Bladezillas 4 – DB Athletic Club 5 The Good.* Hockey! That is a thing I believe we can all agree that we enjoy. We certainly got some hockey! Oh, you maybe wanted something more specific than that? So goddamned needy. Justin “In The Leg Hole” Doyle had a wonderful breakaway from Karl (not Sean, never…

Rockstarku

Rockstarku A Bladezillas Recap Haiku.  Black, red, white Jerseys and sock tape. We prepare. “Please take it easy;” Oh, my. You must be new here – It seems unlikely. Oh, That Pass! A puck made bullet made promise. Dewey Shoots! Time and time again all in vain. Steve can deke and spin and backcheck and blocks shots and……

Thundercats 10 – Bz 4

New teams are a joy to recap games for. By “joy” I of course mean “unrelenting, systemic anger and frustration.” Who are these people and what do they do? They score goals, apparently. Hooray, Burnaby.   The upside, of course, is that I have to be creative if I want to blog Bz games (I…

2016 Award Predictions

Yes! It is that time of year again, the only thing any of you play for anymore – awards season! Another Winter season has come and gone. The ballots have been submitted, the envelopes are sealed in wax (or will be – clocks, who are they to tell us we are so far behind?) and…