So many people, both in Canada and around the world, have spent the last 2 months quarantined or self-isolating at home. Hockey, for the fall season, has been cancelled. While the NHL may resume, it is unlikely that bottom division, beer-league recreational hockey (such as we enjoy) will be back any time soon. How are the Bz adapting to this new way of life? How are they staying active and occupied? Mr. Zilla asked several players and alumni how isolation was going for them.
Dewey Van Hussen, Defense. “Well, you know, you have to keep focused, right? I’ve primarily kept my hands busy practicing my stick work. You dont need a rink to get your hands moving, you can do it almost everywhere, you never think about it. You could do it in a museum if you had the opportunity, I guess. I try to sneak in a few moments whenever the wife isn’t around. It gets kind of repetitive, I guess, but it it feels good to work with your hands and it really helps with the self-isolation stress, you know? Also, I masturbate. A lot.“
Duncan Brown, Center. “Without the routine that BC Ferries provides its… been hard. Mostly, I just sit in the bath with a rubber boat. “Vroom, Vroom!” is that the sound a ferry makes? I can’t remember. I can’t remember, Mr. Zilla!”
Pat Hagarty, Goaltender. “Do you like my new sign? Made it my own self. “48 days without being scored on.” Pretty clever, I reckon.”
“I’ve come up with a lot more cool, super-interesting nicknames for players on the blog, as I do.” – Jason “The Literary Pandorica” Martin
Jamie Wright, Center. “Well, you know, with the wife also under pseudo-lockdown, it’s definitely been harder to hide my 8 to 10 hours a day playing Xbox with the boys. I can usually sneak in a few minutes when she is in the washroom. 2:07 to 2:35 am has been super productive, obviously. I got in a solid 3 hours last Tuesday while she was weeping in the bedroom, which was awesome. You get by, I guess. Life, uh, finds a way.”
“Poop. There is… so much poop.” Will Fraser, speaking about his newborn daughter, probably.
Dustin Posporita, Defence. “Dude, I’ve played so much Warzone lately. It’s been crazy! Like, 8, 9 hours a day on the pc. We fucking wreck bitches, you know? Headshot, headshot. Boom, headshot. Wait, what self-isolation? COVID-19 what?”
Andrew “Skittles” Krick, Forward. “With so little minutia to impede my work I’ve really focused on my first love: competitive industrial agglomerations. It’s no Division 11 hockey, true, but once I start thinking about the current knowledge-based theories regarding industrial agglomeration enjoyed by proximate firms in geographic clusters I think to myself “this feels better than any goal I’ve ever scored.” Also, I build a lot of Star Wars Lego.”
“I’ve been working on my puck juggling. No, this is not a joke for the blog. Yes, it can go in the blog.” –Justin Doyle, not actually speaking to us but still actually doing that.
Mike Pollard, Retired. “I’ve really focused on promoting government responsibility and taken a renewed interest in our current government’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic we are all struggling with. Specifically today, for example, I made a sandwich board I can wear with a picture of our Prime Minister Justin Trudeau doing the Nazi Salute and strangling a small business owner, and on the back it says “Leader of the Libel Party of Canada.” I came up with that myself. My 27 Facebook groups are doing well, too! We’ve got 26 members now.”
Nick Schweers, Forward. I get injured a lot so the value proposition of all the rehab and workout equipment we’ve bought, not to mention the therapy (both physical and psycho) that I’ve needed as I have coped with my own mortality amid society’s bleak and eventual downfall… yeah, this is basically Tuesday for me.
“Who are you? What year is this? I long for the sweet embrace of Death. Remember me!” – Robert Antoniali, Defense.