Joleen Suicide Watch Meter
From Wikizilla
Following a devastating loss to the Multiple Scoregasms Joleen Badger was put on suicide watch as a preventative measure (at the time the team had only the one goaltender).
"So before we let her dress for the next game someone please make sure her skate blades are dull and safe. We wont cut you – why should you be able to? Double entendre!"