A Swift Recap

Traction 2 – Bladezillas 1

Having lost 2 out of the last 3 games, the Bz went into their match vs the Traction hoping that, although they go crashing down, they come back every time. They never go out of style! Long time team member Jason “Gyllenhaal” Martin spoke prior to the game of his team’s recent blank spaces in the win column, refusing to lose hope in the roster. “They tell you I’m insane ’cause I love the players… but I can make the bad guys good for a weekend.”

The game started well, with Dan “Jonas” Hewson scoring the first goal and putting the Bladezillas up 1-0. Off to a quick start, it seemed the Bz players were gonna play, play, play, play, play.

The Traction were not going down without a fight, unfortunately, tying the game after Sean “Mayer” Ruzcko accidentally tipped a shot past his goaltender. “I shake, shake, shake it off,” said  an unfazed Ruczko. “Thats what they don’t know, mmm-mmm. That’s what they don’t know.” Said goaltender Patrick “Team Lautner” Hagarty to Sean after deflection: “I knew you were trouble when you walked in! Now i’m lying on the cold hard ground. Oh! Trouble, trouble, trouble…” Team superfan and lone spectator Maria “Better Attendance Than Dewey” Luyten agreed, stating after the game that “He’s so bad but he does it so well.”

A concerned but impassioned Bob “Harry Styles” Long spoke to the team during the second period intermission, urging greater effort and will. Be positive, he declared; “Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess. Its a love story! Baby, just say yes.” It was unclear what the Zillas said, unfortunately, as the Traction scored again in the 2nd to take a 1 goal lead into the final frame.

The 3rd period was rough for the BeeZee, penalty-wise, spending much of the last 10 minutes down a man. Screaming, crying, perfect storms, the game had it all. All they had to do was stay… cool? Collected? Nothing lasts forever, but this was gonna take them down if it continued.

Down a goal and 2 men with under 90 seconds to play in regulation brought out the worst on the bench. “Now we’ve got problems,” said a disparaged Justin “Calvin Harris” Doyle. “And I don’t think we can solve them.” They were not out of the woods, yet, with a flurry of back and forth action before the game would end.

Team founder and self-styled fan club president Dewey van Hussen was not available at game time but did post to twitter, noting that, despite another loss, [Bz] “Keeps cruising, can’t stop, wont stop grooving. Its like I got this music in my mind saying “it’s gonna be alright.””

Even if its in your wildest dream, Dewey.